sensory icks at the beach

To quote everyone’s favorite Star Wars movie, “I don't like sand. It's coarse and rough and irritating and it gets everywhere”.

I’ve tried, really tried, throughout my life to enjoy the beach. However, the environment triggers a lot of my sensory “icks”, so to speak. A lot of the challenges that autism presents me with is sensations that affect way more strongly than they should have any right to. These sensations are things that just make my skin crawl and my stomach turn and my brain scream. Sometimes they are things that cause physical pain to me, but aren't painful to most people. For example, drinking any carbonated beverage feels like what I imagine swallowing a mouthful of needles would feel like. Other times, overlapping sensory input can just pile up, causing extreme overwhelm and leading to me shutting down (i.e., too many voices overlapping around me, bright lights, loud environment, spending too much time breathing in the household cleaners aisle at the supermarket, etc.).

So, back to the beach. Aside from the irritating sand, other beach-related icks for me include: wearing sunscreen, sweat, bright sun and high heat, being splashed (feels like pin pricks), unknown things in the water, wet swimsuit/clothes on my body, and the potential for crowds.

In this post, I’m going to share two recent beach experiences. One is surprisingly positive! and one that made for a rough day...

I didn't take any photos at the beach that day, but I do love this mirror selfie we took before heading out!

The less-than-stellar beach experience was just outside of Rome, Italy, and went exactly as I expected. I was overheated, sweaty, too sensory-overloaded to put on sunscreen (we rented a beach umbrella so I still stayed out of the direct sun). It was majorly crowded, which was loud and overwhelming, making me feel on-edge. I was mad at the sand for being sandy. I didn’t even want to wade in the water. I laid on my beach blanket, reading, trying to avoid the sand and sun, while my partner tried to enjoy swimming by himself. I felt guilty because he spent a decent amount of money to get to the beach from our AirBnB. But I was so miserable. We were there barely an hour before giving up, so we got some snacks at the beach bar (which was the highlight of the excursion, I love arancini) and then went back to the apartment, where I promptly took a shower and crashed.

The better beach experience was also in Italy, on a little island off of Syracuse, called Ortygia. The beaches there were not sandy, but rocky. Some areas were gravel-like rocks but most areas were just rocky sections of cliff and wave-breaker type rocks. No irritating sand that gets everywhere!!

the rocky coast is just so gorgeous - and Ortygia is fairly small so you're never more than a 10 minute walk from one of these areas since it's basically all coast

I loved setting up a beach blanket on the flat tops of the large rocks after climbing to the best one. I mostly spent time reading (in the shade of my giant sun hat), people-watching, or looking for crabs and lizards that lived in the rocks. I mostly just waded up to my knees in the Mediterranean tide, but one day Ben coaxed me out into the swimming area. It was amazing! We took our time wading out to deeper water, so I could acclimate myself to getting wet. Once I took the plunge and submerged myself in the water, I had a great time! We swam to a small channel between some craggy rocks, letting the waves push us back before we swam forward into the next wave. I was so grateful for Ben patiently dragging me out to sea for a swim that day! The water was so clear - I wasn’t constantly scared of sea life touching me because I could see the little fish and the seaweed swirling by. The sea water, though salty when it splashed in my mouth, was cool and refreshing in the summer sun. And honestly, salty sea water is more pleasant than murky lake or weird ocean water when it splashes in your mouth... Dipping into the sea also helped me not feel so gross from sweat and sunscreen though I felt very crusty from the sea salt after I got out and dried off… But there was a little shower head at the entrance to the beach area, so people could rinse off. All in all, it was wonderful!

I absolutely would return to Ortygia for the seaside life! Sandy beaches though? I believe Rome was my last attempt at enjoying them for a while.

If you're also autistic, do you relate to this experience with beaches? Or do you enjoy a day at the beach? Let me know in a comment!

take care of yourself <3

~heather

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